The 4 words you should stop saying

 

When you are suffering from an unhealthy habit, there are four very familiar words that have more than likely been going through your mind often enough to make you feel weak, guilty and miserable.In my book Addiction Farewell the first piece of advice I give you is to delete this little phrase from your vocabulary. And for a very good reason.

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Unhealthy habits: self-image versus true self

Contemplating the statement “I am an addict” or “I am addicted” is an important step in unlearning unhealthy habits. The key question is who the “I” is. The answer may surprise you and may radically change the view you have of yourself.

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Dealing with feelings

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When you live with an addict you are likely to experience anger, frustration, fear, shame and guilt. These feelings may become very overwhelming. They stand in the way of a happy and peaceful life and make it hard to make calm and conscious choices. There are ways to deal with such feelings, and you have more control over them than you might expect.

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The three C’s

The three C's from al-anon

One of the most common problems when dealing with an addict in your life is that you blame yourself.  You ask yourself: “Why is it that no matter what I do and how hard I try, the addict(s) in my life doesn’t change and the pain and suffering doesn’t stop”. Or “What am I doing wrong, for if I would do it right, he or she would not drink, do drugs, etc.”

In my upcoming book I explain how and why this is.

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Healing addiction through belief

The healing power of belief in the oneness of creation

We are all created, composed of tiny particles, so scientists say. Before we were born they already existed, and when we die, these atoms that formed us do not disappear. They live on. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. We come from all, and we return to all. We are all. We did not choose our parents, the color of our eyes, our sex, the place and the circumstances we were born in. In fact there is very little we choose, most of it simply, miraculously happens. Somehow and sometimes we still realize that we are part of creation, of this incredible engine or wheel of life. That we are one with it. Unfortunately most of the time we lose sight of this awareness, because we have become addicted to experiencing our life, we have lost ourselves to this earthly life experience. We are scared to death of losing this or having to give that up. But what are we afraid of?

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Denial: the main obstacle to recovery

Denial

Logically, the need to recover from living with an addict can only become apparent when you are  conscious of the fact that it is indeed addiction that is affecting your life and that of the addict. Unfortunately this consciousness is often hindered by the mechanisms of denial and repression.

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Powerlessness

Powerlessness

One of the often heard terms in 12-step programs, such as al-anon, are the so-called “3 C’s”: you didn’t Cause it, you can’t Control it and you can’t Cure it.  It being the addiction, of course. True Read more

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