When dealing with the addiction of a loved one in your life you may experience all kinds of painful emotions and difficulties, and there is only so much you can humanly take. A very effective way of avoiding this is to set boundaries. This is easier said than done. It is one thing to express […]
Being in a relationship with someone with an unhealthy habit is a choice. This is a fundamental truth and our awareness of it is the beginning point of recovering from our suffering.Being in a relationship with someone with an unhealthy habit is a choice. This is a fundamental truth and our awareness of it is the beginning point of recovering from our suffering.
In the research for my upcoming book I have taken a close look at how widely spread addiction actually is. Let’s take a closer look at some numbers, both in my native country and in the US. You will notice that you are not alone. According to the Dutch Central Bureau for Statistics at least […]
In many cases recovering from living with an addict leads to ending the relationship. It is quite natural that you carry feelings of disappointment, betrayal, anger and pain with you after such a rupture for quite some time. You blame your addict for them and these feelings can stand in the way of engaging in […]
People pleasing is said to be one of the character traits in many people suffering from unhealthy habits. Of course, there is nothing wrong with this. Being nice and helpful to others is a good thing, as long is it feels right. The truth is that often we feel just the opposite: fear, anger and […]
Sometimes things happen in your life that are so painful that you put them away in the deepest realms of our mind. Sometimes you even deny them. This denial protects you from having to feel or relive pain or suffering.
Logically, the need to recover from living with an addict can only become apparent when you are conscious of the fact that it is indeed addiction that is affecting your life and that of the addict. Unfortunately this consciousness is often hindered by the mechanisms of denial and repression.
I do not like the words addiction or addict. It makes me think of commonly used labels, such as “disease”, “powerlessness”, “patient” and the need for a “higher power”. It creates a sense of unavoidable dependency and despair, taking away the incentive for an active personal involvement in working on recovery, on healing. I prefer […]
We are all created, composed of tiny particles, so scientists say. Before we were born they already existed, and when we die, these atoms that formed us do not disappear. They live on. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. We come from all, and we return to all. We are all. We did not choose […]
One of the most common problems when dealing with an addict in your life is that you blame yourself. You ask yourself: “Why is it that no matter what I do and how hard I try, the addict(s) in my life doesn’t change and the pain and suffering doesn’t stop”. Or “What am I doing […]